My issue is this: I love my husband, Im not ready to give up his friend ship, or him as a person just as a lover. His father just passed away and he is broken. Though there are many reasons that would make you want to stay, if you want things to change, you will have to push him away and focus the wellbeing of yourself and your family. Please dont hesitate to reach out for coaching if you would like a helping hand. Focus your energy instead on falling back in love with your husband by bringing new things into your relationship. And i dont want to lose him. Wedding Poems | Academy of American Poets He is in every sense my best friend because we do everything together, well we did until his GF. She went out, back to the city, almost every other weekend, until last month, when she finally told me about her love for the other. We started talking for long everyday and started to share everything and now it has reached to the level that i feel like attached to her more than my wife (situation is same for my friend too). On one hand, you have the history and the relationship that youve poured your time and energy into with your husband or wife, and on the other hand, do you have this new person making you feel alive again. Hi Tony, thank you for sharing your story. Im in the same boat but only that Im a woman and my story is similar to yours. I have said many hurtful things in desperation of frustration with her. I'm Married But In Love With Another Man! What Should I Do? Wishing you all the best, Wow its the best to work out things with your husband because the most affected will be the children in case of a separation and no grantee that that new love will not fade anyway . Even though I know thats wrong to feel crushed. Encourage your spouse to talk about themselves what they like, what they feel, what they need And actively work on being a good listener. my husband been cheating on me for the past year she says she not going any where and says he says he loves her and he is not letting me go no divorce .he is torn between the both of us what can i do to keep him from seeing her he tries ignore her calls but she finds her way to his job and where he hangs out that is where they meet up at. Theyre just our psychological responses to the events that are taking place around us. Your partner wants to be supported by you so If you talk to them about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and will value you in return. To work with us, just click here. If You're Just Hooking Up: Walk of Shame. We can, however, ask you targetted questions and give you tools that will give you clarity. In this situation you are going to have to set boundaries and stick with them. So that is why it is important to think about the long-term consequences, or in other words, what happens later on down the road. between these two men would be to analyze your marriage and ask yourself what the It seemed timing was always off but I always had the what if idea in the back of my head. Interestingly enough, it often happens inadvertently. Some have chosen their lover and have been very happy. He constantly makes me feel like Im not a priority. Im trying to look for answers I recently split with my boyfriend of 2 years got back together he proposed to me even though I told him to wait until we are back on track I love him but Im not in love with him I have strong feelings for someone I work with who has also told me he loves me and Im torn dont know what too do Im no longer the same person I was two years ago with my boyfriend and that the person I work with makes me feel loved and is more like me and we have more in common totally confused. jenice your poem hit home really hard for me,for i am in this very same situation at this moment,very beautiful Elizabeth So let me be very clear about something. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching so that we can ask you targetted questions and define a custom action plan for you. To work with us, just click here! heart of hearts that youre not up for addressing and solving these issues, then the We got back to a really nice comfortable place but he doesnt seem to want to put in the effort. Hello I understand everything that was being said. We talk as just friends with no strings attached not until last week when i saw him for the first time after 4yrs. When you got married, you probably thought you were in it for the long term and that your love for your spouse would last forever. If you are constantly arguing and contradicting, then yes, you might win sometimes; but it is just going be an empty victory because youll be creating a larger divide between you and your husband or wife. Well that only lasted 2 sessions, even his psychologist recommended that he go to sex aholics anonymous. Before i met my husband i was dating and my ex loved me so much, he never cheated on me for 3yrs but i felt he was everywhere in my life and so i kinda lost interest. I am at the point where i dont wanna try anymore. I would recommend a private coaching session in order to go into more detail regarding your current relationship with your wife. By working with you one on one, we can define an action plan that is tialormade for your circumstance. The heart is a definitely complicated thing. What if you choose to cut ties with the person you fell in love with and return to your spouse could you repair the damage? real relationship with two people at the same time. Take this quick quiz to see if you can save your relationship, or more importantly, if you should Take this quick quiz to find out where you stand 2019 Happily Committed, LLC. I know this can be difficult and hard, but if you find yourself not wanting to be in the relationship any longer, it is best to set aside some time to communicate this early on to your partner. Some work needs to happen to ensure that your husband no longer makes these mistakes, and if he does, he needs to realize that there are consequences. Very torn. Im still married, but not a day goes by where I dont think about the other woman. Happily Committed. Is my relationship over: Heres how to know for sure! I have thought about being direct with my coworker and ending it, but its also a friendship I just dont want to lose. If you can make people feel important in a genuine way, then you can really reinforce the bond between you. The emotional bond between us died down throughout the years, but our bond was always very solid. During that time, we have each had some feelings for each other at some time or another, but neither of us really mentioned it. I need help. What I can do, however, is provide you with some pointers on how to ask yourself honest questions that will allow you to get more clarity in terms of what you truly want to do. What do I do!? After a year of my marriage I realized that it was always my high school friend I was in love with and I still love him till the present day, its the same for him as well. Your coach when you are in love with someone who is not your spouse. Off limits, he says, requiring me to keep strictly proffesioal level talk or it will be all over. I dont feel like we explored each others interests enough. Could you please extend them a little from next time? Married, But Constantly Thinking About Someone Else There are four options if you find yourself thinking of someone else and are debating about or have already had an affair: End the affair with that other woman or man, and fix things with your marriage Stay in your marriage while continuing a relationship with that someone Married for 10 years now and blessed with a very lovely and caring wife. For More Insights On How To Overcome Infidelity https://www.love.happilycommitted.com/infidelity-program-offer-page-ssfxnuquA client of mine came to me b. Please dont hesitate to book a session with us by clicking here! But my problem is I cant let go of this guy. Menu. Hi Eva, thank you for taking the time to share your story. Constant back and forth. You can never force it, but once it arrives and settles in, you need to actively preserve it if you dont want it to go anywhere. So Ive kept all this in. Pls help me on hoe best to hanle this situation, thanks so much. Start to reintroduce romance and quality time spent together. Well, wanted to, I fell in love with someone else. Its been 12 years since the last time Ive dated this guy and I didnt think anything would happen considering he is married and has a daughter. I want to save my marriage, my family, I want to be the man, who makes her happy and I understand, that it got so far, because I took our relationship for granted and didnt invest enough in it. Hes still single nd we have mutual feeling for each other but am scared of the effect a divorce will have on my husband, our children nd people that arr close to us. Wishing you all the best. And I keep thinking about the other person. Hi Kim, Thank you for sharing your story. 5. I cannot live without texting and hearing from him. She explained that every single one of us always knows the answer already. For 4 months now, ive developed a feeling for someone i havent even met personally. However, if you would rather focus on cultivating a romantic relationship with your friend, you will have to think about letting go of your marriage. So we never really considered dating each other. It doesnt have to be grandiose gestures it can be simple actions that show them how much you care and that theyre on your mind. In the beginning of my husband and Is relationship it was amazing. He listened to me. MarriedAnd In Love With Someone Else? - Crosswalk.com You are the only one who can make the right decision for yourself, but please dont hesitate to reach out if you would like some exercises in clarifying what your heart truly wants. One day a guy I knew from HS messaged me about current events and made the comment my husband and I looked happy and he was happy for us, that Chad was a lucky man. Yes, I do my duty as a wife, how painful though especially when I see the same hurts he does just by being himself, surfacing daily. They went to school together in Africa and she initiated contact with him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, so why is it that this guy stirs me up so much sexually. So the very first thing we need to do it is to dissect the situation. Unhappy and lonely, I tried to be content and happy whatever differences in opinions were and what ever much he hurt me I learned to let it go almost instantly. Required fields are marked *. It's not as if you went looking for a lover. I cant figure out why Im doing this to my marriage- and to my coworkers marriage. Wishing you all the best, "Although unrequited love can feel extremely painful, it can .