Parties take place in a variety of venues, ranging from the synagogue’s social hall or ballroom to restaurants or large event halls. Interfaith families should ask the rabbi about synagogue policies and honestly examine both parents' attachments to Judaism. Families must decide with whom they will share the event, when it will take place, what kind of celebration will follow it, whether it will involve social action, and on and on. Many children also chant all or some of the weekly Torah portion and/or lead all or part of the prayer services. Bat Chayil. To read this article, “What a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guest Needs to Know,” in Spanish (lee en Español), click here. It is customary for invited guests to give a gift to the bar/bat mitzvah celebrant. Pronounced: MITZ-vuh or meetz-VAH, Origin: Hebrew, commandment, also used to mean good deed. The bar/bat mitzvah child will participate in the Shabbat service in a variety of ways, depending on the congregation’s customs. At the bar/bat mitzvah, the child will generally get an aliyah and usually chant the haftarah (prophetic reading) as well. Usually, the child will begin preparations for his or her bar/bat mitzvah about a year before the big day. Read: Womenâs Special Mitzvot. An adult in this context means over the age of 12 or 13 (bat or bar mitzvah). By the 17th century, boys celebrating this coming of age were also reading from the Torah, chanting the weekly prophetic portion, leading services, and delivering learned talks. Family and invited guests try to arrive at the beginning, even though the bar/bat mitzvah activities occur somewhat later in the service; however, both guests and regular congregants often arrive late, well after services have begun. Many children also chant all or some of the weekly Torah portion and/or lead all or part of the prayer services. Knowing what to expect ahead of time will ensure that your experience is a comfortable and positive one. In addition, while the majority of bar/bat mitzvah ceremonies take place during Shabbat morning services and at synagogue, as described below, some are on Friday night or Saturday afternoon. In traditional settings, photography is strictly. My Jewish Learning is a not-for-profit and relies on your help. 5. The bar/bat mitzvah may do some or all of the following: lead prayers, read (often chanting) from the Torah and/or Haftarah , deliver a dvar Torah â a speech about the Torah portion read that day. Shabbat morning services are usually followed by a kiddush, or light meal, in the synagogue’s social hall or other space outside the sanctuary. Pronounced: a-LEE-yuh for synagogue use, ah-lee-YAH for immigration to Israel, Origin: Hebrew, literally, “to go up.” This can mean the honor of saying a blessing before and after the Torah reading during a worship service, or immigrating to Israel. In addition, a number of Jewish institutions are developing alternative bar/bat mitzvah ceremonies, such as the Brit Atid group bar/bat mitzvah program at New York’s Jewish Journey Project. Pronounced: MITZ-vuh or meetz-VAH, Origin: Hebrew, commandment, also used to mean good deed. Setting your cell phone or beeper to vibrate or turning it off. Prayer shawl: The tallit (tall-EET or TALL-is), or prayer shawl, is traditionally worn by Jewish males and, in liberal congregations, by Jewish women as well. For gift suggestions, click here. Not taking pictures. Pronounced: tah-LEET or TAH-liss, Origin: Hebrew, prayer shawl. Coming of age for a Jew, which happens automatically at age 13 for a boy and 12 for a girl, is termed bar and bat mitzvah, that is, obligated to perform the Jewish mitzvot (commandments). Interfaith families should ask the rabbi about synagogue policies and honestly examine both parents' attachments to Judaism. Pronunced: TORE-uh, Origin: Hebrew, the Five Books of Moses. We use cookies to improve your experience on our site and bring you ads that might interest you. A ceremony marking the first performance of mitzvot such as being called up to the Torah to say the blessings (known as “getting an aliyah“) began to make sense only in the Middle Ages. Over the many centuries, Jews have developed countless prayers and blessings to God. Pronounced: baht MITZ-vuh, also bahs MITZ-vuh and baht meetz-VAH, Origin: Hebrew, Jewish rite of passage for a girl, observed at age 12 or 13. Because the braided fringes at the four corners of the tallit remind its wearer to observe the commandments of Judaism, wearing a tallit is reserved for Jews. The bar/bat mitzvah may do some or all of the following: lead prayers, read (often chanting) from the Torah and/or Haftarah, deliver a dvar Torah — a speech about the Torah portion read that day. Another instance of the increasing weight given to individual needs is the inclusion of many new ceremonies that highlight the bar mitzvah child yet may alienate regular congregants whose service is being lengthened for a child they may not even know. do not accept Bat Mitzvah and do not allow girls to count as part of the minyan or to lead services. While this article focuses on what to wear and do — and some of the rituals you will see — we recommend you also consult our Guided Tour of the Synagogue and Highlights of Shabbat Morning Worship. You have been invited to the bar or bat mitzvah of a friend or family member. Earlier, the age of majority had little practical meaning because minors were “permitted” (though not “obligated”) to perform many rituals that were later reserved only for boys who had reached the age of bar mitzvah. Not smoking in the sanctuary, inside the building, or even on the synagogue grounds. An overview of this Jewish rite of passage for 12- and 13-year-olds. The bat mitzvah celebration made a late appearance in the United States with the bat mitzvah of Judith Kaplan (daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan) in 1922. Keep in mind that services (and service lengths) vary widely from congregation to congregation, depending on a synagogue’s denomination (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform etc. All Rights Reserved. Many bar/bat mitzvah parties have band or hired deejays, who in addition to providing music often lead games and activities. The bar mitzvah (and even more so the bat mitzvah) is a relatively new phenomena. In more traditional communities, clothing tends to be dressier; women wear hats and are discouraged from wearing pants. Egalitarianism and feminism have pushed the development of meaningful bat mitzvah ceremonies for girls in traditional communities, and some Orthodox feminists want rabbis to explore the legal texts and develop a consensus on expectations for a girl’s bat mitzvah in the public sphere. Religious reformers of 19th-century Europe, uncomfortable with the ritual focus of the bar mitzvah, developed the confirmation ceremony, which celebrated the acquisition of the principles of Jewish faith by older teens. Copyright © 2002-2021 My Jewish Learning. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Issues for Interfaith Families, The Surprising History of Bar/Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation. In some synagogues, women may wear hats or a lace head covering. 13 Colorful Bat Mitzvah Tallit Prayer Shawls for Girls [and Women] (2020) February 3, 2020 Rebecca Cohen 0. Following along in the prayerbook: Try to follow the service in the siddur, or prayerbook, and the chumash, or Bible, both of which are usually printed in Hebrew and English. Most parties feature a gift table or other place designated for gifts. Individual prayer is considered acceptable, but prayer with a quorum of ten Jewish adultsâa minyanâis the most highly recommended form of prayer and is required for some prayers. Temple Bat Yam is a vibrant community representing Judaism on the South Shore of Lake Tahoe. What a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guest Needs to Know, Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Issues for Interfaith Families, The Surprising History of Bar/Bat Mitzvah and Confirmation. How much do you know about this coming-of-age ceremony? Often bar/bat mitzvah guests are invited to a separate party, either immediately after the service or that evening. Make It Meaningful. ּת ×ִצְ×Ö¸× â; Ashkenazi pronunciation: bas mitzveh) is the equivalent for girls.The plural is b'nai mitzvah for boys or mixed sex groups, and b'not mitzvah (Ashkenazi pronunciation: b'nos mitzvah) for girls.. The history of the bar mitzvah dates back to a fifth-century rabbinic text references a blessing (still part of a traditional bar mitzvah) recited by the father thanking God for freeing him from responsibility for the deeds of his child, who is now accountable for his own actions. Also known as a yarmulke. Take your cue from the other worshippers or the rabbi’s instructions. Most include a meal and dancing, during which the bar/bat mitzvah child is sometimes raised on a chair. Prayer and praise make up the heart of the true Jew. For a video on What to Expect at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, scroll down to the bottom of the page. In common usage, a mitzvah often means âa good deedââas in âDo a mitzvah and help Mrs. Goldstein with her packages.â This usage is quite oldâthe Jerusalem Talmud commonly refers to any charitable act as âthe mitzvah.â Often the word mitzvah is related to the Aramaic word tzavta,2 meaning to attach or join. Our membership takes great pride in living this role for our community and to share Judaism with the wider community as well as our many visitors. To learn more about the particular synagogue you will attend, you may want to consult its website or ask the bar/bat mitzvah host. Whereas the parents feel at a gut level that their children are Jewish, because they have been raised in a Jewish family, halakha (Jewish law) maintains that an adopted child is not Jewish unless formerly converted. Copyright © 2002-2021 My Jewish Learning. At the bar/bat mitzvah, the child will generally get an aliyah and usually chant the haftarah (prophetic reading) as well. Maintaining sanctity: All guests and participants are expected to respect the sanctity of the prayer service and Shabbat by: 6. Family members are usually honored by being called up to say a blessing over (or read from) the Torah, and the bar/bat mitzvah child’s parents often deliver a speech. During the Torah service (described below), the entire congregation is encouraged to follow the reading of the weekly Torah portion in English or Hebrew. What to expect and how to behave at a bar/bat mitzvah service. While the popularity for bar/bat mitzvah ceremonies is increasing, and more Jewish pre-teens are interested in having a bar/bat mitzvah, there are many Jewish families who are not members of synagogues and are creating personal and privatized ways to mark this coming-of-age ceremony. Skullcap Co.âs traditional tallit features a row of solid stripes across each end, available in a variety of colors. There may also be instructions to bow at certain parts of the service, and because a bow or prostration is a religiously significant act, feel free to remain standing or sitting as you wish at that point. Arrival time: The time listed on the bar/bat mitzvah invitation is usually the official starting time for the weekly Shabbat, or Sabbath, service. Pronounced: bar MITZ-vuh, also bar meetz-VAH, Origin: Hebrew, Jewish rite of passage for a 13-year-old boy. Presents are best delivered at the party or reception, rather than at the synagogue service. In the last three decades, an adult bar/bat mitzvah ceremony has developed that is not a coming of age, but rather an affirmation of Jewish identity for Jews who did not have bar/bat mitzvahs as children. In the last half century, the bat mitzvah has been widely observed in liberal congregations, but has developed more slowly among traditional Jews, because women are not legally obligated by Jewish law to perform public mitzvot. 3. How much do you know about this coming-of-age ceremony? It is also increasingly common for families to host private bar/bat mitzvah ceremonies that take place outside synagogue.